Till You Come Back To Me
by snowfalls23
Summary: Kevin Arnold once said "Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." Hotch and Emily are married when he is involved in a car crash. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Kevin Arnold one said "memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose"

Emily Prentiss knew her husband SSA Agent Hotchner was a workaholic. She discovered it long before she married him and was okay with it as long as he made time for her and Jack which of course he did. So when 11:00pm rolled around and he still wasn't home she thought nothing of it and assumed he got wrapped up in a case file. That is till she received a phone call. Emily had just got out of the shower and changed into her yoga pants and old FBI tee shirt when the phone rang. Guessing it was Hotch calling to say he was on his way home she answered.

"Hello" Emily said grabbing the phone off the night stand.

"I'm looking for a Emily Hotchner" spoke a voice she did not recognize.

Despite being married to him and assuming his name Emily rarely heard anyone address her by true last name. Everyone at work had continued to call her Prentiss. "This is she" replied Emily to the mystery voice

"My name is Marsha Johnson with Stafford hospital I'm calling on behalf of your husband Aaron Hotchner"

Emily felt her heart drop. "Hospital what happened" she questioned stitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Ma'am your husband was involved in a car crash and is in critical condition you need to get down here as soon as possible"

Emily knew what that meant anytime someone said as soon as possible it was bad." I'm on my way I'll be there in 20 minutes" she answered.

All Emily wanted to do was break down and cry. Most people in her situation would but she knew that she had to be strong for Aaron and Jack. For once Emily was thankful for her mother and all of the rules she had ingrained in her. The most important, in her mother's eyes atleast, was being able to put all your emotions aside and put on a mask for the public eye. Quickly composing herself Emily reached under the bed and grab an empty FBI gym bag. She had her go bag already in the car but Jack would need one. Rushing into the boys room she randomly grabbed clothes from his dresser, a pillow, and a small fleece blanket. Throwing it it all into the bag she walked over to his bed to wake the sleeping boy.

"Hey Jack baby I need you to wake up" she gently spoke running her fingers through the young boys hair.

"Mommy school time already" asked Jack still half asleep.

"No baby but mommy and you have to go for a car ride"

"But I'm tired" whinned the young boy.

"I know but you can sleep in the car" spoke Emily.

"Carry me" he asked groggily extending his arms in the air.

"Come on big boy" she said lifting him onto her hip.

Rushing out the door Emily grabbed her purse, gun, and credentials just in case. By the time they were down to the car jack was back asleep. Emily quickly buckled him in before getting in the car and pulling out of the drive. Reaching for the controls on her bluetooth she quickly selected JJ's number and pressed dial.


	2. Chapter 2

On the 3rd ring she picked up.

"Em it's almost 12:00am if this is some kind of payback for me waking you and Hotch for that case last week I swear" started JJ.

Emily quickly cut her off. "Hotch is in the hospital he was in a crash"

"What how" asked JJ significantly more awake

"I'm on my way now all I know is it's critical"

"What hospital I'm coming" asked the younger agent

"Stafford" she replied

"I'm on my way what do you need" asked JJ.

"Call Morgan, Garcia and Spence I'll call Dave. Also if you have any snacks at your house in case Jack's wakes up when we get there I didn't grab any" requested Emily

"I've got it covered. See you soon and be safe" instructed JJ.

"Okay you too"

After getting off the phone with JJ she called Dave.

"It's late we better not have a case" said the older gentleman.

"Dave you need to get to Stafford Hospital right now" said Emily tears pooling in her eyes. Dave had always been the father figure in Emilys life and was one of the few who she trusted with her emotions.

"Emily what happened" asked david concern lacing his voice.

"Hotch was in a crash it's bad dave like really really bad critical bad" anwsered a panicking Emily

"I'm on my way have you called the rest of the team" he asked.

"JJ's on it" she answered.

" I'll be there soon" he stated.

As emily hung up the phone she could hear the older man shuffling around presumably getting dressed. Pulling into the hospital Emily grabbed her purse and a still sleeping Jack. Rushing to the door she half walked half ran to information desk.

"My husband was brought in Aaron Hotchner" stated Emily addressing the young nurse.

After a few clicks on her computer the nurse looked back at Emily. "Yes he was brought in via ambulance" she replied

"Where is he I need to see him" questioned Emily.

"They are prepping him for surgery I can take you to the waiting area but I need you to give me some health information"

After giving the nurse all of Aaron's information Garcia who despite being called last game rushing in followed by Morgan.

"Hey how is he" asked Garcia hugging her friend as best she could with Jack still sleeping in Emilys arms.

"He's bad they're going into surgery now" answered Emily.

"Surgery" echoed Garcia

Morgan who noticed Emily was visibly shaking wether from fear or trying not to cry stepped up.

"Here princess let me take little man you need to sit" instructed Morgan.

Nodding Emily handed over Jack who softly whinned before settling in his uncle's arms.

JJ appeared soon after followed by Spencer and Dave. Once the whole team had arrived the nurse showed them to the waiting room promising to send a doctor in shortly.

"I need to be in there with him" stated Emily as she paced the room. Morgan was still holding Jack and without the young child in her arms Emily had quickly become restless.

"Honey you know they won't let you" replied dave gently.

"They won't let her but they might let me" stated Spencer.

"What" asked JJ confused.

Spencer quickly walked up the hallway and down to the nurse's station followed by JJ, Dave, and Emily.

"I need to observe Agent Hotchners surgery" stated Reid.

"I'm sorry sir I don't think that's a possibility" stated the nurse in a friendly yet firm manner.

"Listen my name is SSA Agent Spencer Reid. I have two doctorates in Medicine from Stanford and an IQ of 170 as well as a ideticit memory. I could probably perform the surgery myself. I would say I'm more than qualified to observe" replied Spencer. His team mates behind him were all slightly shocked. None of them had ever hear the young man speak up to someone in the manner he currently was.

"Sir I need special permission to let you in there" replied the nurse.

Coming up with a plan JJ quickly grabbed her phone pretending to answer it.

"Yes ma'am give me a moment" said JJ looking up to adress the group. "It's Strauss she wants an update now"

Playing along Spencer answered back "Tell her I have no update I can't get clearance" he replied.

Carrying on with her fake conversation JJ nodded. "Yes ma'am I understand...Okay I'll ask...she's calling the head of the hospital" informed JJ addressing Spencer. "She wants the name of whoever is delaying you and she doesn't sound happy"

By now the poor nurse at the desk was terrified. "Tell her it won't be necessary sir if you will please follow me to scrub I will see you to the OR as fast as I can so that you're able to give your update" answered the nurse quickly walking around the counter.

Spencer turned and locked eyes with Emily before speaking. "Please tell Strauss I'll make sure he has the upmost care and update her when the surgery is completed" he stated.

Once Spencer was gone the team had nothing to do but wait. Jack's slept in Morgans arms while Garcia took her laptop out and used her FBI clearance to read the accident report and gather all the possible information. JJ played media liaison keeping Strauss (who she had called after her fake conversation with spencer) and the other higher-ups informed and preoccupied. Emily finally broke down and cried. Dave held her promising her everything would be okay. After almost an hour of crying Emily quietly mumbled something.

"What" asked Dave not fully hearing the younger girl he considered a daughter.

"I was supposed to be in the car" whispered Emily. "We rode together this morning but I got sick at work and Anderson drove me home" she confessed guilt laden in her voice.

"Bella" said David endearingly. He considered the young women his daughter and it wasn't the first time the nickname had been used. "You can't blame yourself"

"Why can't I" cried Emily. "If I had just stayed at"

Dave cut her off "Do you think for one second that Aaron would have wanted you in that car with him" questioned Dave.

"No" Emily weakly answered.

"And would he want you in that OR on a table alongside him" continued the older man.

"No" she replied again in the same broken voice.

"Then just be glad you're here for Jack" he replied giving her a hug.

Just then Reid walked in. He looked worn and tired in the wrinkled green scrubs he had been issued by the hospital. "I think it's best if everyone sat down"


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting down everyone had their eyes locked on spencer who was unusually quiet.

"Spence your scaring me" said Emily breaking the silence. "Is he... is he" she couldn't bring herself to ask the question she dreaded the most.

"No" answered spencer immediately seeing the fear in his partner's eyes. "He has 3 broken ribs and a laceration on his side. One of the ribs punctured a lobe in his lung causing blood and air to build up in his chest cavity. This was why he needed to be rushed to surgery" he spoke.

The room was immediately filled with sighs of relief and thank god's. However spencer still remained stoically quiet. It was Emily who noticed the look on Reid's face.

"Spencer what is it" she questioned.

"While on the table he coded for a minute and forty-two seconds. They were able to revive him but they did move him to ICU for additional monitoring" confessed Spencer.

In hearing this Emily immediately felt sick. Throwing her hand over her mouth she ran for the nearest trash can. JJ was quickly behind her and had her hair pulled back in a matter of seconds. She was gently rubbing soothing circles on her friends back. Garcia grabbed Emily's untouched water bottle from earlier knowing the raven haired beauty would want to rinse her mouth. When she finally caught her breath Emily looked back to Spencer.

"When can I see him" she asked pitifully.

"The doctor should be in soon you will have to ask him" he replied.

Nodding Emily resumed her seat in silence. Aaron had died she told herself. She had came within a inch of losing her husband. The thought was almost to much to bear. Dave seated himself beside her pulling her from her thoughts. "He's alive. He is going to be fine" he told her pulling her into a hug. She remained like that, tears running down her face, until the doctor entered the room.

Telling them all the same story they had just heard from Spencer he informed them that Aaron had been successfully extubated and was sleeping but should be awake soon.

"When can I see him" asked Emily.

"I can take you to him now however until he is fully awake and stable I can only have one person in the room at a time" answered the doctor.

After being assured by her team that they would all wait and stay with Jack who somehow had managed to sleep through the entire ordeal. Emily quickly followed the doctor down several hallways and finally into Aaron's room.

Quickly checking his vitals the doctor smiled at the young women. "He should be waking soon, I'll give you some privacy. When he is up please call for the nurse"

Thanking him Emily took a seat on the edge of the hospital bed gently grasping her small hand around his. Taking everything in Emily was grateful that physically he looked much better then she had imagined. His color was normal and despite the small scratches on his arms he still looked like her Aaron. Emily knew the majority of his injuries were hidden under the gown that he was currently wearing. For this Emily was grateful. This meant that Jack could visit his dad without either of them worrying about his injuries upsetting the young boy. After about 20 minutes is he started to flutter his eyes.

"Aaron honey if you can hear me squeeze my hand" instructed Emily. Feeling a small pressure on her hand she smiled and started crying tears of joy. "Good now just open your eyes"

It took a few moments but he soon opened his eye. Taking in his surroundings he finally spoke "Where am I" he asked his voice raspy from anesthesia.

"Your in the hospital. You were in a car crash" said Emily pushing the call button as she spoke.

Aaron attempted to sit up before wincing in pain. "Easy" said Emily. She gently leaned across him for the bed control her chest ever so slightly pressing against his.  
Noticing the way hotch stiffened his body as her chest touched his Emily sat up assuming the pressure was to much.

"You have several injuries on your side here let me set the bed up it will be easier then you moving" she spoke.

A brief moment of panic crossed Hotch's face. "Jack was he in the car" asked Hotch.

" No he was at home he's fine" assured Emily.

"Prentiss I'm not trying to sound rude but why are you here where is Jessica or my family" asked Hotch

"What are you talking about" asked Emily taken aback by his statement

"Listen Prentiss I'm thankful for you being here it means a lot that you care about me and the team but I really need to see my family" saide Hotch.

Realization quickly for crossed Emily's face. Standing up she immediately walked out of the room and towards the nurse's desk where the doctor was currently standing.

"He doesn't remember being married to me" she told the doctor.

"Why don't you wait with your team I'll get you shortly but right now I need to do a memory evaluation and nobody can be in the room" instructed the doctor.

Giving a silent lot of approval Emily turn in the direction of the waiting room. Realizing something Emily turn back around. "Excuse me doctor" she called grabbing his attention.

"Yes Mrs. Hotchner" he responded.

"Please let him know that his son Jack wasn't in the car with him when he crashed. He was asking about him when he woke up" requested Emily.

" I thought he didn't remember you how does he remember your son" asked the doctor.

"Jack's not mine biologically Aaron was married prior to us. She passed away her name was Haley and she is Jack's biological mom" explained Emily.

"I'll let him know" responded the Doctor.

Walking back to the room Emily was silent. JJ was the first to notice her presence and immediately sensed something was wrong. "What's going on why aren't you with Hotch" asked JJ guiding Emily into the seat beside her.

"He doesn't remember me" said Emily in a trance like state.


	4. Chapter 4

"What" stated JJ gaining the attention of everyone in the room.

"I mean he remembers me Agent Prentiss from 4 years ago it's his wife he seems to have forgotten" said Emily.

"Bella I know this is a lot to take in but I need you to start at the beginning and tell us what happened" said Rossi kneeling in front of the younger brunette. The rest of the team had gathered around her to hear what happened as well.

Going into profiler mode Emily recounted what happened in the same manner she would a case.

"Emily I'm so sorry" said JJ pulling her best friend into a hug. For the second time that night Emily broke down.

"He doesn't remember loving me" whispered Emily.

"This could be temporary from the anesthesia we needed to wait and hear what the doctor says" said Spencer trying to reassure her.

"Spencer's right we need to worry about you right now" said Rossi

"Here here princess why don't you cuddle up with Jack while we wait on the doctor" suggested Morgan knowing the sleeping boy would calm her down. Nodding in agreement Emily took the young boy from Morgan. At six years old Jack was small for his age and still managed to curl up comfortably against his mothers chest.

"How am I going to explain this to him" asked Emily running her fingers through the young boys hair. It was going on 5:00am and Emily knew the boy would wake soon.

'Im sure it will be fine" whispered Garcia.

Not wanting to be spaced out across the room the team moved their chairs so they were in a half circle around Emily and JJ, who still hadn't left her best friend side.

After a few minutes of silence Emily spoke up. "There's something I need to tell you all" said Emily.

"What is it princess" asked Morgan.

"This isn't how Hotch or I wanted to tell you but I feel like under the circumstances you all should know" said Emily.

"Know what" asked JJ.

"I'm pregnant. Roughly 9 weeks. We were going to wait to tell you guys but right now I'm terrified and heartbroken along with alot of other emotions" confessed Emily smiling for the first time.

A chorus of congratulations where echoed around the room. Along with hugs and smiles from her teammates.

When Emily had discovered she was pregnant her and Hotch were ecstatic. Hotch had wanted to tell everyone immediately. It was Emily who convinced him to wait until they knew everything was okay. With her being older Emily knew that her pregnancy would be more at risk and she wanted to confirm everything with her doctor prior to telling the team. Remembering that her 1st appointment was scheduled for 2 days from now Emily quickly realized that Aaron wouldn't be with her for the first ultrasound.

"I don't know what I'm going to do if Aaron doesn't remember" said Emily

"Bella, listen no matter what happens this baby is a good thing we will all be here for you and Hotch" said Rossi reassuringly.

Before anything else could be said the doctor walked into the waiting room. "Mrs. Hotchner" said the doctor addressing her "Aaron would like to see you and as you can imagine he has a lot of question"


	5. Chapter 5

"Before I go in and talk to him can you please explain why he doesn't remember me" asked Emily.

"It appears that your husband has endured some form of head trauma during the crash I ordered a CT and from the looks of it there is some swelling. His memory should come back however it could take time" explained the doctor.

"How much time" asked JJ.

"It's hard to say it could be tomorrow or weeks from now" answered the doctor.

"Have you told him that he doesn't remember the last 4 years" asked Emily.

"Agent Hotchner is aware that he's missing some time but not 4 years. I felt it would be best for someone he trust to be in the room when we explain all of the changes that have occurred in his life"

"In that case Dave needs to go with us" said Emily. Dave started to protest but Emily cut him. "No dave let's face it 4 years ago Hotch trusted you the most" said Emily "He may have trusted me are professional level but we didn't talk about our personal lives" she continued. Realizing the Emily was right Rossi nodded.

"JJ will you stay with Jack" asked Emily.

"Of course none of us are going anywhere. We will all be right here" said JJ speaking for the team. Handing Jack off to JJ and kissing the young boy once more on the head. Emily stood up ready to face one of the hardest moments of her life.

"Come on Bella" said Rossi putting an arm around her for support. Walking into Aaron's room Emily was heart broken. Hotch looked so lost it took everything she had not run over and comfort him.

"Dave, Prentiss what's going on" asked Hotch "The doctors will barely tell me anything"

"Aaron you were in a car crash" said Emily gently. "The doctor said you hit your head and there's some swelling" she continued trying to break it to him gently.

"Get to the point Prentiss" snapped Hotch he wasn't trying to be rude but he was genuinely confused and didn't understand why everyone was acting weird.

Rossi couldn't help but notice how Emily physically flinched at Hotch's harsh words and was trying to hold back tears.

"The car crash caused you to forget the last 4 years of your life" he stated

"What how" asked Hotch in shock.

"That's what Emily was trying to tell you" said Rossi reprimanding the man for cutting her off. "There's swelling in your brain the doctors expect your memory to come back but they don't know how soon" he continued.

"So I'm missing the last 4 years if my life" said Hotch trying to process everything.

"Yes" answered Emily gaining her voice back.

"So Jack is 6" said Hotch in awe.

"Yes we just celebrated his birthday last month he's really into this movie Cars right now so we had a car's themed party" Emily said smiling fondly at the memory.

"We" asked Hotch confused.

Emily's smile fell realizing she had said too much and that she would now have to tell Aaron and they were married. She had been hoping to wait until Hotch calmed down a little bit to tell him.

"I don't know how to explain this other than just saying it" said Emily.

"What" asked Hotch

"I'm your wife we've been together for three and a half years and married for two" confessed Emily holding up her left hand to show him the ring he had placed there years ago.

"What how is that possible" said Aaron shocked written across his face.

"It's true" said Rossi.

"I married Prentiss said Hotch more to himself than anyone else.

"I know this is a lot to take in but I'm here for you. The entire team is and whatever you want we will do whether it's ask questions or just give you some time" said Emily trying to be strong.

"Can you just give me a few minutes" asked Hotch.

"I think that's a good idea" agreed Dave.

"Emily why don't you go to the bathroom and wash your face then we can walk down to the cafeteria. I don't think you've had anything in the last 12 hours and you have to eat" said Dave. Now that he knew the young woman he considered a daughter was carrying his soon-to-be grandchild he was even more concerned about her.

"Okay but you should stay here" said Emily earning a strange look from both men.  
Letting out a sigh she continued. "Aaron you may not remember but I've shared my life with you for the last three and a half years. I know you're confused and scared and you have a lot of questions you want to ask but are afraid to you because you don't remember our relationship. You don't trust me" she said brokenhearted. "But I know you trust Rossi and I can tell by look on your face that you want to talk to him just without me around" said Emily tears running down her face.

"Prentiss" said Hotch feeling a strange mix of emotions at the sight of the women crying before him.

Emily cut him off. "No it's okay if that's what you need right now I understand" she said "Plus I really need a minute to myself as well"

"Thanks" he answered.

Nodding Emily excused herself to the restroom. Making it to the restroom she splashed cold water on her face washing the dried tear stains from her eyes. She didn't know how to feel she was exhausted and broken and lost. How was she supposed to convince someone and that didn't trust her that she loved him.


End file.
